Step 1

Today I had two appointments.

One was at 11:45 for the psychiatrist (Dr. C). Unfortunately, his office was running late, so they didn't end up seeing me until 12:55 (yeah, really!). But my appointment was easy. He wrote a script for 40 mg of Celexa (which I think is actually *less* than I was taking before, but I'll wait til I can afford to fill it) and also for 10 mg of Adderal (which I'm supposed to take half of every 4-6 hours).

Yeah, so we're trying ADD meds...again...haha.

The other one was an intake at the local teaching Mental Health Center.

I really enjoyed the psych who did the begining appointment, and she recommended DBT. I said, yes, that would be something I would be interested in...

Then one of the leaders of the group came in, diagnosed me as borderline within 20 minutes, and ... I dunno. I did not like that. It's a 1 year program, full of 2 1/5 hours every week.

It's described as:
DBT Skills Training Group
Focus: Coping skills training for persons with borderline personality disorder, based on Linehan's dialectical behavior therapy model.
Format: Weekly sessions for one year for adults.
Content: Topics include regulating emotions, being more effective in relationships, and dealing with stressful situations. Sessions consist of lectures, discussion, and homework activities.
She also started mentioning something about "bios" which was about people who are more sensitive and also raised in environments where their emotions weren't valid?

And even when I say, "SelfInjury is a private matter which can't be fixed by therapy"...they consistently say it can be fixed by that. Siiigh. I *know* they're trying to help, bless their hearts. But. When I'm happy, when I'm feeling capable and awesome, I DON'T HAVE THAT PROBLEM. grrrrrrrr

Whatever, I made it both places today. I get a cupcake now?

Next entry: Self-Injury. I'm qualified to talk about it.