Can someone say it in a different way?
"
- We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable."
Second part, duh, but powerless?
Last night when I got here I came at 11 -- became scared -- drove around looking for someone to come with -- came back. I was frightened that this meeting wouldn't exist. I consider that my first successful meeting because 1) I didn't spend the whole time crying and 2) I felt like I had a right to be here as a self proclaimed alcoholic. I love the big book, but I still have a problem with step one...and I think it's only one of semantics. If I'm powerless -- why the hell am I here? Why did I drag myself out of bed last and say, "Um, my life is fucked up. Can I have some help?" I feel very sad for people without my support system. But I feel like I've been living my life in the passenger's seat of a car, letting stuff happen to me.
Bill's story impressed itself best upon me, plus the story that wasn't really told -- that of his wife. She's mentioned briefly, obviously because this isn't Al Anon, but it spoke volumes to me as something that I've also experienced...and uh, dealt with by drinking. D'oh. AA is probably not my first choice for support; but it is widely available. When I talked to my cousin (LCSW) about my problems with the word powerlessness, and giving up what is left of my power, she didn't tell me I was wrong. She said there were other options online and would she like to look them up for me? I said, "No, but I would love for you to tell me to look it up." I still need help from my higher power (which seems to come from other people and animals at this point) but I have gotten better at accepting or finding it. I'm looking up several other alternatives at the library, which doesn't have the benefit of a group approach, but since I'm really trying to get into the DBT group, plus individual therapy, I should have a lot of options for help.
EDIT: Well, geez. Why didn't I just google it?!? THE HUMANIST ALTERNATIVE
1. We accept the fact that all our efforts to stop drinking have failed.
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